'Don't Hold Back on Being Your True Self'

Namaste, greetings to one and all! 

Before I start, I have a confession to make. Last semester when I did a team project on baseball analytics, I did not know what a “home run” was. But today when I stand here at iconic Fenway Park, I know “we’ve hit a home run.” Congratulations to the incredible class of 2021. We made it!

Families, friends, faculty, trustees, guests and fellow graduates, thank you all for joining us today. My name is Suchithra Vengalil, better known as Suchi. I am also a wife, a mother ... and today, a proud Bentley graduate. Getting my master’s degree is a dream I have been holding onto for the last 16 years. It is my great honor to be chosen to give a response on behalf of the graduating class. 

When COVID hit us last spring, we, the graduating class of 2021, started a year like no other. Most had to vacate campus, while others had to go back to their home countries. Virtual classes became our new normal. Our internships were cancelled, and the job market took a plunge. For us international students, we barely got a chance to skim the U.S. college experience that we had dreamt of. 

Thanks to COVID, we had background sounds and accompaniments to our Zoom lectures. Pet appearances, kids’ interruptions, unmuted private conversations, zoom background glitches … the list goes on.

In terms of the political climate, we saw and heard things that were painful and deeply affected us. But we continued to remain stronger than ever. When my neighbors waved at each other, I realized that the language of love changed … but was not lost. We found new ways to spread our love, but safely.  

On my personal front, going back to school after 13 years of professional life was not an easy task. I juggled between classes, deadlines, toddler meltdowns and at times a husband whose tantrums can be worse than that of a 3-year-old. Try adding a pandemic to the mix and I doubted if I could make it to the finish line of my master’s dream, though it was not the first time I had to face circumstances that tested my mettle.

Growing up in a traditional Hindu family, in Calicut-a, small coastal city in south India, I listened to stories of sacrifices by my grandparents and took pride in my lineage. In 2004, I returned home after finishing my bachelor’s degree to realize that my family was going through a financial crisis. My graduate dreams took a backseat, and at 21 years old, I had to start working to support my family. My hard work paid off and within 2 years, I became my company’s youngest sales manager, travelled overseas and even managed to buy a house of my own. My dreams were soaring high and I was climbing the corporate ladder … until I ended up in an abusive relationship with my ex. The stress of going through a divorce while being a project director impacted my physical and emotional health. I lost 30 pounds. While the secret of my size zero figure was still a mystery to my colleagues, my manager, who was also a woman, used my circumstances to satiate her ego. The term “workplace harassment” became an everyday reality to me. I realized that unless women support each other, gender equality in the workplace would remain a distant dream. 

I was hiding my fears behind the mask of the social image—that of a perfect marriage and a dream job until I mustered the courage to walk away from it. With the support of my parents, my sister, my friends and most importantly my therapist, I regained my confidence. I learned not to masquerade behind others’ expectations and to truly and completely be myself. Most importantly, I learned to face my fears head on and take charge of my life. 

This may be Bentley’s first commencement ceremony where, more than the robe and the regalia, we made sure we were wearing a mask. But many of us hide behind a mask of a different kind, one that is designed to hide our issues, our struggles and our real feelings. Today, I want to encourage my fellow Falcons to not hide behind that mask. Don’t hold back on being your true self and if you need help, ask for it. In an effort to appear perfect, we often don’t open up to the people that could actually support us.   

My past experiences have been pivotal in my graduate journey, and I wanted to make the best out of my time at Bentley. I have worked as a graduate assistant for the IPM department, served as vice president for the Graduate Student Association and was a staff assistant for CISS’ worldview program. Leading panels and discussions on topics such as sustainability, mental health and racial injustice, I have learned to face my fear of public speaking and appreciate the diversity around me. 

As we are all set to go out into the world today, a lot of us are worried about our future. Let us not forget that while our lives have changed, the pandemic has transformed the professional landscape, too. Now, more than ever, the world needs people who are authentic, open and fearless in the pursuit of their goals. So, don’t let the mask conceal your unique personality. Let it shine and radiate to make a difference in this world. 

I want to thank the faculty, staff, and the entire Bentley community for supporting us immensely during this stressful time and also for making this happen for us today. Many of our classmates could not be here in person to celebrate this momentous occasion. But in spite of all the odds, Class of 2021, we did it! 

I also want to thank my husband Vivek for being my rock, my parents and in-laws for their endless support, my son Vivaan for being my inspiration, my friend Lily who was my “sounding board,” my guru “Sai Baba” for leading my way … and finally, to this master’s degree which came to me after 16 years. You may be late, but today, you are my date!

Thank you all.